My next several posts will be about a trip my daughter and I took to the Northeast to look at colleges. Before I start, I want to acknowledge that this trip, and the following posts, are possible because I come from a place of privilege. I’m a white woman living in Seattle, in a professional, well paying job. Granted, you could say all of my life is a result of privilege. That’s fair. I felt it more keenly writing these posts, and I wanted to recognize it openly.
My oldest daughter, Mary, and I are visiting colleges this week. The process of finding a college is truly daunting. There are so many options. I’m grateful for the help she’s gotten from a college coach, Abby. We’re privileged to be able to afford the help. Ironically, one of the ways she helped Mary was to inform her just how expensive places like Boston College are…and which ones will, and won’t, be likely to give financial aid (Mary crossed Boston College off the list).
Mary is looking at schools away from home – Chicago, Vermont and New York. I’d probably feel badly that she wants to go so far from home except that I did the same thing (I grew up in Oregon and went to school in Washington D.C.). My choice had nothing to do with not wanting to be near my family, so I understand Mary’s desire to try something new (and, after leaving the West Coast for college, I returned several years after and have been here ever since. As the saying goes…”if you love something, let it go…”).
Chicago schools are near family. My brother lives there with his wife and two daughters. They’re hopefully optimistic she’ll be close to them. Selfishly, we’d love to be able to visit them while visiting Mary.
The schools in VT and NY are outliers – Abby helped her pick them. They have the majors she’s interested in, they’re small to medium sized student populations, and they’re in the Northeast. Mary liked what she saw on the virtual campus tours. But how could you pick from a virtual tour? Mary needed to see the schools in person. Thus, the purpose of our trip.
We started in Burlington, VT to visit UVM, The University of Vermont (Universitas Viridis Montis, Latin for “University of the Green Mountains”). Flying into a small airport makes things easy – we got our rental car within 10 minutes after getting our baggage. We stayed in a VRBO near campus, which also happened to be near the downtown area. It was about 5pm by the time we got unpacked and were ready to explore, but it was already dark out (note to self and others…schedule college visits before daylight savings). Exploring a new place at night isn’t ideal. Good thing the Church Street Marketplace uses lots of white lights.
The Marketplace is lovely. Walking streets lined with shops and restaurants and decorated with white lights. I remembered Mary’s reaction to DePaul University, where we sat outside at a pizzeria among the brownstone townhomes. She’d liked it there, so I knew she was enjoying this,too. But I didn’t ask. I shared my own observations, but I didn’t want to push Mary to draw any conclusions too quickly. We’re processors – we need time to digest what we’re experiencing and process our thoughts. My job was to help Mary experience each school and the surrounding areas so, after we leave, she can make the best choice for her. So, I kept my statements to things like, “Oh, this is lovely” and avoided things like “Oh, this is lovely, and I can totally picture you here!”
The next day we headed for the University. Mary had arranged for a tour at each school. We were able to go into buildings and hear the students’ perspective. One of the other Moms asked some great questions. “What classes did you take your Freshman year?” “Where do you like to study?” “If you needed a reference from a professor today, who would you ask and why?” I took notes for future reference.
Next up: Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute in Troy, NY.
The Frampton Clan 