Who Am I?
My name is Gretchen. I live in Seattle, WA, and I’m a mom of four – a son, and three daughters, including identical twin girls. I’m sharing my stories because I love to write and because my friends and family have told me my stories are fun to read and occasionally helpful. With each post I talk about something that’s happened, how we handled it, and reflect on the outcome(s). We’re in the teenage years now, but I reflect on the early years often. A lot of what I’ve learned is agnostic to age, so I’ve tried to make my stories applicable whether the kids are toddlers, tweens, or full-blown teenagers.
Why read this blog?
Parenting is hard, and is often fraught with anxiety and guilt. Anxiety over whether or not we should or shouldn’t intervene. Guilt over the fact that we didn’t and the fear that our kids will suffer as a result. My goal is to reduce your sense of guilt and anxiety.
Our parenting approach emphasizes holding our kids capable. That means letting them experience the natural consequences of their decisions and actions. Forgot to bring your coat to school? You’ll feel cold today. Refused to eat the ‘gross’ lunch I made you? I guess you’ll feel hungry for a while. Didn’t make the soccer team? I’ll hug you and tell you I love you. But I won’t call the coach.
You don’t need to feel pressure to drive to school and deliver the homework they forgot….you don’t need to pester them to hurry up and get ready for practice (you can get yourself ready, go sit in the car, wait for them, and, if they dawdle, they can feel what it’s like to show up late).
Alongside holding kids capable, I want to emphasize – we do this without shame. Feeling cold without your coat? We don’t laugh or say “told you so.” Feeling hungry? I empathize, ‘it’s hard to concentrate when you’re hungry. We’ll see you at dinner.” After dinner, it’s over. We don’t make passive aggressive comments about their earlier decisions. We respect our kids, and we trust them to remember the consequences of their earlier decisions and consider how they’ll respond in the future.
Showing my kids kindness and respect feels right…every time. I know when I’ve messed up, because I can feel it, and it doesn’t feel good. Expressing empathy while holding the tension allows me to show them love while they work through emotions like disappointment, anger, frustration and guilt. Learning how to work through tough emotions, and that they’re strong enough to do it, is one of the most important and valuable lessons we can teach our kids.
My Photos.
A lot of them are stock photos. I realize it’s a bit impersonal. I have two main reasons. First, adding pictures of my kids feels like an invasion of their privacy. I already post details about their lives that push the boundaries. I’m careful to about what I share and how I share it. I’m not ready to add their photos yet.
Second, I hope that my stories can feel relevant to a broad reach of people. I might be overly optimistic about that, but I love the idea of people from all different backgrounds seeing themselves in these stories.
The Frampton Clan 