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College drop-off was great, but the second day wasn’t.
Last weekend we dropped our oldest daughter, Mary, off at college. She was in a new city, Chicago, with new people around her. She’d wanted to go somewhere on her own – where no one from her highschool would be. A fresh start. I remember doing the same when I went to school. I grew…
Hangaries almost ruined a great day, but Emily’s kindness saved it
It was a random day in May, and we were in San Francisco. Mary had a soccer tournament nearby and we arrived a day early so we could explore the city. It was the five of us – me, Chad, Mary, Emily and Ellie. We started the day by taking the BART from Dublin into…
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Anxiety: When Intervention Is Needed (Part 2)
We often think of interventions as surprise meetings where family and friends gather around the person of focus, inform them they’ve gone off the rails and insist that change is needed. That’s not always how interventions go. Intervention is defined as “action taken to improve a situation.” They can be subtle. Our first action was…
Anxiety: When Intervention Is Needed (Part 1)
I’m a big fan of giving kids space. Letting them make decisions for themselves and reap the consequences. When my son was ten-years old, I let him go to school without a coat. It was October in Seattle. Cold, misty, rainy. He’d lost his coat at school and was making no effort to look for…
Why I Deleted Instagram
A month ago I followed my daughter’s lead and deleted my Instagram app from my phone. That led me to find out what connection really means to me and how I can do it better, without social media. Mary announced she’d deleted the app during MIdwinter break. She’d committed to it for a week because,…
Talking to Kids About War Is Like Talking to Them About Sex
Okay, so it’s not. Talking to kids about war is not like talking to them about sex. However, the approach I’m using is similar. Stick with me. When Mary and Payton were in Elementary School our PTA had a speaker come and talk to us. The topic: How to talk to your kids about sex.…
Masks Off In Schools – Why Now?
On Monday, kids won’t have to wear masks in school anymore. The governor lifted the mask mandate. In a time of confusion and constant change, I wonder if this will help us move forward or if it will create unnecessary angst and conflict. On the side of taking masks off, the omicron variant is milder.…
Disappointment – Sometimes You Just Have To Sit With It
In her book, Atlas of the Heart, Brene Brown defines disappointment as unmet expectations. Last weekend my husband, Chad, and I visited our oldest son, Payton, at the University of Portland for Family Weekend. Despite our efforts to be explicit about what we hoped for the weekend, we both came home feeling down. We received…
Mental Health Days Are Worth Their Weight in Gold
On Wednesday, Chad came into the kitchen and quietly warned me, “Ellie’s really tired and is saying she might not go to school tomorrow.” He’d just brought Ellie and her twin sister Emily home from Ultimate Frisbee practice. Telling me she’s tired is his way of warning me – she’s feeling sensitive. Careful what you…
A Tough Decision Made
On Sunday, Mary declared, “I need another college conversation.” “Okay” we replied and, at about 5pm Mary came marching downstairs with the dry erase board. These ‘college conversations’ are Mary’s chance to tell us her thoughts about her college choices. Mary had applied to nine schools. She’d been accepted to several. She was having trouble…
Teaching Kids to Drive
Last week I took Emily and Ellie out for their first drive. They turned 15 a few months ago, and it was time to start practicing. It was their first time behind the wheel, so I kept things simple. I drove to an empty school parking lot. I stopped the car in the middle -…
Car Rides & Carpools
Want to know what your kids are thinking? Take them on a car ride or drive their carpool. Yesterday I drove my son, Payton, back to college. He goes to the University of Portland, a 3-hour drive from Seattle. It was just me and him. Our family established an expectation that whoever is in the…
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